There comes a moment—maybe with a friend, a partner, a child—where we stand at a crossroads. A soft ache in our chest tells us they are struggling. We want to reach for them, hold their burdens, soften the edges of their pain. But is it love calling us forward, or is it fear?
So often, we mistake enabling for support, thinking love means sparing others from discomfort. We absorb their suffering as our own, believing if we just try harder, give more, be more, we can fix what aches inside them. But true love—deep, steady, unshaken—does not erase the lessons they are meant to learn. It does not steal the wisdom that only experience can offer.
What would love have me do?
Love whispers: Hold space, but not their weight.
Love says: Trust their journey, even when it is uncertain.
Love reminds: Boundaries are not barriers; they are the framework for real connection.
There is a vast difference between rescuing and witnessing, between carrying someone and walking beside them. Love does not require us to sacrifice ourselves on the altar of another’s struggle. Instead, it asks us to offer presence without possession, guidance without control, compassion without self-abandonment.
But this is where it gets hard—because love isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes, love asks us to let go when we’d rather hold on. It asks us to stand still when everything inside us wants to step in and fix. It asks us to believe in the strength of the people we care about, even when they cannot yet see it for themselves.
And yet, we wrestle. Am I being cruel if I don’t help? Will they think I don’t care? But love is neither cruelty nor neglect. Love is a quiet, steady trust in another’s ability to grow—even when that growth looks like struggle. Even when it unfolds in ways we wouldn’t have chosen for them.
So, the next time you feel the pull to save, pause. Breathe.
What would love have me do? Maybe love asks you to say no. Maybe love invites you to step back. Maybe love, in its infinite wisdom, knows that holding someone does not mean holding everything for them.
Maybe love, real love, trusts that they will find their own way.
And maybe, so will you.